The holidays are often advertised as one of the most cheerful times of the year, and yet the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) reports that 52% of Canadians experience an increase in stress, anxiety, and depression during this time (CMHA, 2022). It’s a time when there is significant financial pressure to buy gifts and entertain; a time when grief fills a room when the absence of someone special impacts yearly traditions; a time when seeing certain family members triggers unpleasant emotions and memories, and a time when loneliness rears its head in fractured families. With these stressors and more at play, we typically turn to habitual ways of coping that can be maladaptive and impact our wellbeing (American Psychiatric Association, 2021).
Here are four ways to cope with stress this month.
- Self-validate & normalize
Judging how you feel during the holidays can have a negative impact on your mental health. To combat this, acknowledge how this time of year is stressful and that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. Grappling with internal and external pressures to resist unpleasant feelings will only intensify and prolong the discomfort. Remind yourself that it’s okay if you’re not in the holiday spirit—you don’t have to be. - Practice and maintain self-care
With jam-packed schedules and last-minute preparations, it’s easy to neglect self-care and yet it’s key for managing stress. Take note of what energizes you, inspires you and relaxes you and intentionally do more of it. Whether it’s attending a yoga class, painting, journaling, or simply recognizing your mental and emotional limits by declining a social invitation, it’s important to check-in with yourself and refuel as needed. - Manage your expectations
The holidays often bring up the expectation that family gatherings will be joyous, but that’s not always realistic. Families are made up of complex histories and family gatherings may reopen old wounds, for yourself and others. Ask yourself what you can control in these situations and manage your expectations accordingly. - Give yourself the gift of self-compassion
Maybe you burned the gingerbread cookies you intended to bring to your work holiday party, or maybe you thought you healed a part of yourself that resurfaces when you’re gathered with your friends and family or when find yourself alone. While you may unconsciously default to berating yourself and give into the inner critic, intentionally pause and do the opposite. Ask yourself: If my friend had these negative thoughts about themselves, how would I respond? Turn that compassion inward—you deserve kindness, too.
Your monthly self-reflection:
- How does stress show up for you during the holidays?
- What do you need around the holidays to feel grounded?
- Reflect on what you can control versus what you can’t control this season. How might your expectations change?
References:
American Psychiatric Association. (2021). Holiday Stress. https://www.psychiatry.org/File%20Library/Unassigned/APA_Holiday-Stress_PPT-REPORT_November-2021_update.pdf
Canadian Mental Health Association. (2022). Five ways to protect your mental health from holiday stress. https://cmha.ca/news/five-ways-to-protect-your-mental-health-this-holiday/#:~:text=While%20the%20holiday%20season%20may,isolation%20during%20the%20holiday%20season.
Neff, K. (2009). The Role of Self-Compassion in Development: A Healthier Way to Relate to Oneself. Human Development, 52(4), 211-214. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2790748/
